Forget Me Not
by Beka Alcott
Summary: In a nutshell, Carter gets zapped by a mysterious alien artefact, and her memory goes haywire. Any more would give the game away, and you wouldn’t have to read it! SJ eventually
1. Chapter 1

**Forget me not**

_In a nutshell, Carter gets zapped by a mysterious alien artefact, and her memory goes haywire. Any more would give the game away, and you wouldn't have to read it!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, blah blah blah. You get the idea. It's not mine, and sadly, it never will be. Huff.  
_

* * *

"DANIEL!!! Don't you dare let her go!" Jack yelled at the terrified looking Doctor Daniel Jackson, who was clinging desperately to an unconscious Sam Carter, while perched on a ledge above a very big drop. Jack and Teal'c weaved their way up the cliff-face carefully and quickly, trying to reach them.

"Jack!" Daniel called down urgently.

"Just hold on!" Colonel Jack O'Neill called back.

A few rocks skittered down the rock-face as Daniel adjusted his position, trying to keep hold of Sam, who seemed to be getting heavier by the second.

Teal'c reached Daniel and Sam first, and tried to lift the Major out of Daniel's arms. "Release her to me, Daniel Jackson." He instructed. Daniel shook his head.

"If I move she'll slip, I can't hold her!" He was terrified of losing her, this was all his fault.

"Do it, Daniel! Teal'c won't let her fall." Jack barked at him from the other side of the jaffa.

Slowly, Daniel turned towards Teal'c, as Sam slipped gradually lower in his arms. Just as he feared he really would drop her, Teal'c bent low and relieved him of her dead weight, lifting her over his broad shoulders. Daniel visibly sagged in relief against the console in the rock-face behind him.

Jack moved out of the way as Teal'c began his descent, and then climbed up to where Daniel was clinging to the rock, shaking. "Daniel? You're alright now, you're safe. The worst bit's over." He patted his friend on the shoulder comfortingly.

"Ready to come down?" Jack asked. Daniel nodded shakily.

"What about this?" He asked, jerking his thumb back at the panel set into the rock behind him.

Jack looked at it with contempt. "Forget about it. Come on, let's go."

Jack held Daniel's arm to support him, and together they followed Teal'c down the cliff.

* * *

"Unscheduled off-world activation!" Walter Harriman called over the noise of the sirens, as General Hammond hurried down into the control room.

"Who is it, Sergeant?" He asked, arriving at the computers in front of the huge glass window overlooking the gate-room.

"Receiving SG-1's IDC, sir." Walter replied.

"Open the iris." Hammond ordered, and was answered by the metallic grating of the iris folding back on itself smoothly.

Three figures stumbled out of the event horizon, one (Teal'c) carrying a fourth. Hammond hurried down to meet them, as Walter called for a med-team.

"Colonel O'Neill, report!" Hammond called as he entered the room.

"It's the kids and their doo-hickeys again, sir." Jack replied. "Daniel and Carter climbed up a hill to play with some alien piece of technology, and it zapped Carter and disintegrated half the mountain."

The medical team rushed in, and Teal'c placed Sam on gurney as nurses surrounded them.

"Is she alright?" Hammond asked. The team shrugged helplessly.

"She has a pulse," Teal'c informed him, "but it is weak."

"All of you report to the infirmary. We'll debrief at 1400 hours." He said, and strode from the room.

Jack glanced at the other two, and with an inclination of his head beckoned them to follow the med-team out of the gate-room.

* * *

It was 1800 hours, and SG-1 were sitting around Sam's bed, where she still lay, unconscious as when she'd been brought in. Doctor Fraiser had been completely non-plussed – physically, Sam seemed fine. She didn't understand why the young woman wouldn't wake up, or what that device had done when it had 'zapped' her, as Jack so eloquently put it.

Jack groaned as he flexed his aching neck muscles. They'd all been sitting here since the debriefing, in near silence, praying that Sam would wake up. Daniel yawned – he had been checked out by the doctor too, and told to avoid doing any lifting for a while until his shoulders recovered from the strain of holding Sam up.

Teal'c looked at the young face of his friend, lying as though merely asleep in the infirmary bed. He sincerely hoped she would be alright, he had never met anyone quite like her. She had become a dear friend to him over the years, and he had a tremendous amount of respect for her.

Suddenly, Teal'c stood and moved closer to the bed. Jack and Daniel looked up.

"Teal'c?" Jack asked.

"I believe she opened her eyes for a moment." Teal'c whispered.

Daniel and Jack looked closely at Sam. Sure enough, a moment later her eyelids fluttered open briefly.

"Sam!" Daniel exclaimed, squeezing her hand in relief.

Sam groaned and frowned at the intense light. She dimly heard the voices of her friends, enticing her into the waking world. Everything was so woolly and vague . . .

"Come on, Carter, open your eyes again. Don't make me order you." Jack encouraged her.

Janet Fraiser hurried into the room, and shooed the three men further back from the bed. She leant over Sam and stroked her cheek gently.

"Sam, honey? Can you hear me?"

Sam heard Janet's motherly voice, and struggled to open her eyes again. The bright light shot through her eyes like needles and she clamped her eyelids shut quickly. She felt a light pressure on her hand, as though someone were holding it, and she tried hard to focus on the real world.

" . . . for me, okay? Just one squeeze if you can hear me." She heard Janet saying. She felt confused and disorientated and moved her head slightly, trying to clear the haze. She remembered Janet asked her to squeeze something if she could hear her. She tried moving her hands, but they felt oddly disconnected from her, and she wasn't sure they were responding.

Janet looked up at Jack, concerned. "She's not responding. I'm not even sure she's awake, she may just be dreaming."

"But still, that's better than before, isn't it?" Daniel asked. Janet shrugged helplessly.

"I really don't know. I'm going to give her an MRI, see if that shows up anything unusual."

Sam felt like she was losing a battle. More and more control was slipping away from her, and she couldn't keep focussed on listening for her friends. She slowly fell back into the hazy sleep.

* * *

_Thanks for reading - hope you liked it! Pleeeeeze pleeeeze pleeeeeeeeeeeeze review! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!_

_NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'FORGET ME NOT' COMING SOON . . . _

_Beka_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Forget Me Not - part 2  
**__Here's the next instalment – enjoy! It does get a bit dark and angst-y. You have been warned! Please please please review. Let me know what you think. And thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far - love you all!  
_

* * *

  
General Hammond entered the infirmary, where SG-1 and Doctor Fraiser were gathered round a computer monitor.

"Doctor? Report." Hammond ordered, approaching the group. Janet turned to face him.

"These are the results of Sam's MRI, sir." Janet said, indicating the screen. "They show unusual activity in the part of the brain that deals with memory."

"So, what? Her life's flashing before her eyes?" Jack asked.

"I wish I could say." Janet said, shrugging. "I've never seen anything like this."

"What do you recommend, Doctor?" Hammond asked.

"Calling in a specialist, sir." Janet answered. "Hopefully a neurologist will have a better idea of what's happening to her. For the moment, I can only suggest that someone remains with her at all times, in case she regains consciousness."

"That would be me." Jack volunteered.

"We can take turns." Daniel suggested.

General Hammond nodded. "Very well. Doctor, call whoever you need."

"Thank you sir."

Sam groaned and opened her eyes. She had a massive headache. She tried to sit up, only to find a series of wires attached to her forehead. She lay back down and tried to take in her surroundings. She was in what looked like some sort of hospital, but with grey concrete walls, and no windows. To her right a man with greying hair was sleeping in a chair. She didn't recognise him, or this place she was in. She had to figure out where she was, so she could go home. She badly wanted to go home.

Jack, sensing movement, woke up, and was over the moon to see Sam awake.

"Carter! Good to see you! How're you feeling?" He squeezed her hand affectionately, and was surprised when she jerked it away.

"Who are you? Where am I?" She asked, edging as far away from him as she could, given the wires connected to her head.

Jack frowned in alarm. "What?"

"I said, who are you?" Sam repeated. "What do you want with me?"

Jack's eyes widened. "Oh, crap." He muttered. "You don't remember me?"

"No." Sam replied shortly. "Should I?"

"Uh, yes!" Jack spluttered. "We're teammates. You don't remember at all?"

"Where am I?" Sam asked again. Jack shook his head in disbelief.

"Okay, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I'm not answering any of your questions till you tell me who you are, and what the hell I'm doing here." Sam said angrily, yanking the wires from her forehead and sitting up.

Jack sighed, and tried to calm her down. "Okay, okay. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, of the United States Air Force. I'm your commanding officer, and your friend. You're in the Air Force base under Cheyenne Mountain." He explained. Sam shook her head in confusion.

"How did I get here?" She asked, frustrated. Jack regarded her warily.

"I need to go get the doctor, let her know you're awake." Jack said, standing up.

"No!" Sam said in alarm, jumping out of bed. "No doctors. I don't want any doctors near me." She said, clearly distressed at the idea.

"It's okay, it's just Janet. She won't hurt you." Jack said reassuringly.

"I said NO!" Sam yelled at him, and grabbed a surgical knife from the cupboard on the wall.

"Alright! Alright!" Jack said, extremely alarmed by her actions. "No doctors."

"Good." Sam sat back on the bed, still holding the knife.

"Okay, now can you tell me what's the last thing you remember?" Jack asked, sitting back down next to the bed, trying to sound calm and soothing. Sam watched him carefully, thinking.

"I was training in the gym." She answered. Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, where? What date?"

"In the Richmond Air Force base, April 12th."

"So . . . how old are you?" He asked tactfully.

"25." Sam told him. Jack's jaw dropped.

"Oh boy." He rubbed his face, not sure what to do.

"Is there a problem?" Sam asked.

"Yes, actually." Jack said. He looked up at her, trying to decide how much to tell her. He was pretty sure he couldn't tell her anything classified while she was in this state, but he should at least be able to tell her the unclassified version. "You're not 25." He told her.

"I'm not?"

"No."

"So how old am I?"

"34." Jack said. "It's September 2nd 2003."

Sam stared at him, shocked. "No way. You're lying."

"Oh fer cryin out loud, _why_ would I do that?" He asked.

"I don't know. You're the one who kidnapped me." Sam retorted.

"Carter, I did _not_ kidnap you. I'm your _friend_. You trust me, I trust you. We've worked together for _four years_. Two days ago, you had a little accident. Your brain's been going hay-wire ever since." He tried to explain, begging her to believe him.

Sam hugged herself, feeling increasingly nervous and vulnerable. "Prove it." She demanded.

Jack looked at her for a moment, then got up. "Alright, I will."

"Wait! Where are you going?" Sam asked in alarm.

"To get proof." Jack said, walking towards the door. Sam ran after him and grabbed his arm.

"No doctors." She reminded him, emphatically. Jack looked at her curiously.

"Why not? What's your thing with doctors?"

Sam looked down, ashamed. Then she looked back up at him with pleading eyes. "Promise me." She begged him. "No doctors." Jack held her gaze for a moment, then nodded.

"I promise, for the moment, I won't let the doctor come in here." He said. Sam nodded, and let him go.

Once out, Jack headed straight for Janet's office. He found her asleep at her desk.

"Doc!" He whispered, shaking her. Janet woke with a start.

"Colonel. Is everything alright?" She asked, blinking.

"Carter's awake." He told her. Janet's eyes widened, and she was instantly alert.

"That's great! I'll go –"

"No!" Jack cut her off. "You can't go see her."

Janet frowned. "Mind if I ask why not?"

"Because she's lost her memory. She thinks she's 25, and for some reason, she's terrified of doctors. I promised her that for the moment at least, I wouldn't let you in." Jack explained.

"Colonel, I need to examine her! If she's lost her memory that could be indicative of a concussion, which can lead to serious situations if it's not properly monitored!" Janet argued.

"Then I guess I'll have to do it for you, cos for the moment, she's just gonna freak if you go anywhere near her." Jack countered. Janet sighed.

"Alright. I'll give you instructions on what to do and look for." She agreed. "For the moment."

"Thanks Doc." Jack said, patting her on the shoulder appreciatively.

Once out of Janet's office, Jack made straight for Sam's lab. He swept all of her photos off of her desk, as well as a few memos from him to her, and from Daniel.

Sam stood well back from the door, tensed, when Jack opened it, but relaxed a little when she saw it was him. "I was afraid you were going for the doctor." She said.

"Well, I'll be honest with you, I did go see her, but only to tell her not to come see you." Jack said, dumping his luggage in a heap on the bed.

"Thank you." Sam said gratefully. Jack gave her a strained smile.

"You know I am gonna want to know what your thing with doctors is about." He warned her.

"I know." She said. She sat down on the bed beside Jack's pile. "So what's this stuff?"

"Photos, mainly." Jack replied. "Take a look."

Sam picked a framed photograph from the top of the heap. It was a team photo of her, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c. She frowned. She looked happy and relaxed in the photo, and Jack's hand was on her shoulder. "Who are they?" She asked, indicating Daniel and Teal'c.

Jack winced. "They're your friends too. That's Daniel, and that's Teal'c." He told her.

"Teal'c? Strange name." Sam commented.

"Yeah, he's not from around here." Jack said.

Sam looked at the other pictures. They all showed her, with several different hairstyles, looking quite happy with various combinations of Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, and a woman and a girl she didn't recognise. She asked about them.

"Well that's the doctor," he said, pointing to Janet, "and that's her adopted daughter, Cassie."

Sam looked at the picture of Janet, examining it carefully. She didn't _look_ so bad.

Jack watched her, worried. "Sam . . ." he started uneasily.

Sam looked up at him. "Yes?"

"What happened? Why are you so scared of doctors?"

Sam put the photos down and looked at her hands. Jack watched her, waiting. Eventually Sam spoke. "I'm not scared of them, exactly. It's just, in this context . . ." she trailed off.

"What context?" Jack asked.

"Waking up in a strange place, not knowing whether or not I can trust anyone, or even how I got here." She paused.

"I was kidnapped, just after I got back from the Gulf." She said. "I woke up in a cell, with only a bed, a toilet and a sink in. The doctors came, and they gave me drugs. Some of them just made me go to sleep, others made me delusional, and some felt like fire and ice running through my veins. Sometimes they'd give me drugs to make me weak, and then they'd rape me." She said very quietly.

Jack stared at her, shocked. He'd had no idea Sam had been through that. "How did you get out?" He asked.

"The air force found me, eventually." She told him. "I was there something like three months. I guess it was a long time ago now, but from my perspective, I've only been back two months."

Jack got up and rubbed his face, taking this information in. "Carter, we didn't kidnap you. I promise."

She looked at him for a moment, then nodded slowly. "I think I believe you."

"Good. Then you'll also believe me when I say I'm not lying about you having lost your memory. We – me, Daniel, Teal'c and the Doc – we're your friends. We care about you. You're not in any danger."

Sam picked up another of the photos, and studied it carefully. "I look happy. And older." She added.

"That picture was taken just over eight months ago. You were 33." Jack told her.

Sam put down the picture angrily and got up, pacing around the room. "_Why_ don't I remember? How can I just _forget_ nine years of my life???"

"I don't know." Jack told her truthfully. "The whole 'how' thing is usually your department."

Sam sat back down heavily with a sigh. "What happened? I mean, to cause this?" She asked.

"That's . . . classified." Jack said uneasily.

"Classified?" Sam asked in disbelief. "I'm not allowed to know what happened to me because it's 'classified'???"

"Technically, yes. Until you get your memory back."

"Then what?"

"Then you'll know anyway." Jack said.

"Surely I have clearance then?" Sam countered.

"Yes, but I'm not sure it still stands given your current state of amnesia. You don't remember signing the non-disclosure agreement, you see."

"This totally sucks." Sam grumbled. Jack grinned.

"I know. But chances are you _will_ remember."

"What if I don't?" Sam asked, a little scared.

"Then . . . I guess we're all screwed." Jack said. Sam looked at him questioningly. "You pretty much keep this place going single-handedly. Siler's great but he's no Sam Carter." Jack explained.

"Siler?"

"Head technician." Jack answered.

"Which would make me . . .?"

"Very smart." Jack answered with a smile. "You're a scientist, and pretty much the premier authority on . . . the thing we got down here."

"Ah, so there's an artefact of some kind?" Sam gleaned.

"Can I get the doctor now?" Jack said quickly. Sam blinked, whip-lashed at the sudden change of topic.

"Huh?"

"You seem to trust me a little more. And that I'm not lying. Does this mean you won't freak out if I go get the doctor?" Jack elaborated.

Sam visibly tensed at the suggestion, but took a deep breath, and nodded. Jack beamed, and headed off to Janet's office.

Two minutes later, they came in to find her unconscious on the floor.

"What happened?" Janet demanded.

"I don't know." Jack was shocked. "She was fine a minute ago."

Nurses flocked into the room, and Sam was lifted up onto the bed, and wheeled away for tests. Jack just stood and watched them go, helpless.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it - watch out for chapter 3 coming soon!_

_Beka_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Forget Me Not – part 3  
**__Here's the third chapter! Hope you like it! Please please please review and thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far!  
_

* * *

  
Daniel sat at Sam's bedside, trying very hard not to fall asleep. It was two in the morning. Sam had been unconscious since collapsing the day before, and still the doctors were clueless. Jack and Teal'c had reluctantly left to let Daniel take the first shift, about three hours earlier. Now he sat, barely awake, occasionally talking to Sam, telling her things, just to make himself feel better.

He suddenly sat up straight, leaning forward over Sam, alert. He could have sworn he heard her say something. Her lips parted and her eyes flickered open again.

" . . _. to tell Martouf . . _." she muttered in Goa'uld. Daniel blanched. He didn't know she could speak Goa'uld.

"Sam?" He whispered. Suddenly her eyes flew wide open, and she looked straight at him.

"_Who are you, human?"_ She demanded, again in Goa'uld, her voice low and harsh.

Daniel was shocked. "Sam, it's me, Daniel."

"_Answer me."_ She ordered him. Daniel blinked and quickly switched to Goa'uld.

"_I'm Daniel Jackson of the Tau'ri. Do you remember who you are?"_

"_I am not at liberty to give away my identity to strangers."_ Daniel kicked himself mentally. Of course, she thought she was Jolinar, and as a Tok'ra Jolinar couldn't just tell _anyone_ who she was.

"_It's alright, you are among friends." _Daniel reassured her. _"Am I correct in assuming you are Jolinar of Malkshor?"_

Jolinar regarded him suspiciously. _"How do you know me?"_

"_The woman you are controlling now is a friend of mine." _Daniel answered her. This was weird. How could Sam think she was Jolinar? Jolinar was dead! And how could he tell her that?

"_What is this place?" _Jolinar asked, looking around.

"_It is a medical facility on Earth. You are being treated for an injury which resulted in some form of amnesia." _It wasn't a complete lie, he thought.

"_I demand that you release me to the Tok'ra at once." _Jolinar demanded. _"I must speak with Lantash."_

Daniel winced. _"Lantash is not here. We cannot release you from this place."_

"_YOU MUST!" _Jolinar bellowed. _"I must speak with him! You cannot hold me prisoner!"_

"_Okay, okay, what if I bring him here?" _Daniel asked, hoping that she'd go for it, and that Hammond would too.

Jolinar considered it. She nodded curtly, and Daniel rushed out of the room.

Daniel skidded into Janet's office, and found she wasn't there. _Of course she isn't_, he scolded himself, _it's the middle of the night_. He ran to her quarters down the hall, and pounded on the door. Janet came out, looking bleary-eyed and sleepy. "What is it, Daniel?"

Daniel rushed an explanation of what had just happened, and Janet's eyes widened. "How is that possible?" She asked. "Sam just has the memory of Jolinar, and that shouldn't be enough to manifest itself as a whole other personality."

"I don't know, but I have to find Hammond, and get him to call the Tok'ra. Jacob should be here anyway, he knows more about Sam's past than anyone." Daniel said breathlessly. Janet nodded and he dashed down the corridor.

Before reaching the end, he spun round and ran back. "JANET!" He called. Janet stopped and turned round. "She seems to only speak Goa'uld, so . . . you can't talk to her." He said.

Janet gave an exasperated sigh. When was a Sam she could _talk_ to going to appear???

* * *

"Doctor Jackson!" Hammond barked. He was tired, grouchy, and in no mood to have demands made of him.

"General, please, if nothing else the Tok'ra may know how we can help Sam. And if she collapses again and wakes up with another different amount of memory, the chances are having Jacob here will make her much more likely to trust us." Daniel begged. Hammond sat down behind his desk, and considered it. He had to admit it made sense, and he wanted Sam back as much as the rest of them.

"Alright. I'll contact the Tok'ra, inform them of the situation and request that Jacob and Martouf come as soon as possible."

"Thank you General!" Daniel gushed. He walked quickly out of the room, then turned back. "Uh, sir, permission to –"

"Go." Hammond answered, shooing Daniel away. Daniel nodded appreciatively and ran.

* * *

Jack was on his way to the infirmary to take his shift with Carter, when the klaxons blared, and Teal'c ran along the corridor towards him.

"Teal'c? What's going on?" He asked the jaffa.

"Major Carter has only the memories of the Tok'ra. She believes she is Jolinar of Malkshor, and has demanded to see Lantash." Teal'c told him, as Jack joined him in the elevator. Teal'c hit the button for the gate room.

"What?" Jack gasped. "Since when?"

"She awoke at approximately 0200 hours this morning. General Hammond has contacted the Tok'ra, and Selmak and Lantash are arriving now." The elevator doors slid open, and the two ran to the gate room just as Jacob and Martouf were walking down the ramp.

"Jack, Teal'c." Jacob greeted them. "George told me what happened. How is she?"

"She believes she is Jolinar." Teal'c informed him.

"Okay, even if all she remembers is Jolinar's memories, surely that wouldn't make her _act_ like Jolinar." Jack protested.

"It is possible." Martouf offered. "Jolinar will have left an imprint of her very being on Samantha's mind when she died, more than just memories. Given the circumstances, this could be enough to influence Samantha's actions and behaviour now."

"Great." Jack muttered.

Daniel stood up when the four men entered the room. "Thank God." He muttered to them. "She's getting a little hard to handle."

Jacob made to approach the bed where Sam sat, but Daniel held him back. "She won't remember you Jacob. It's probably best to let Martouf handle it." Jacob looked pissed off, but acquiesced.

Martouf stepped forward cautiously, as Sam smiled at him in relief.

"_I was not sure they had really contacted you." _She said.

Martouf smiled at her.

"_They are trustworthy people. Can you not remember how to speak the human language?" _He asked. Jolinar frowned and then shook her head.

"_There is much I do not remember. What of Rosha? How did I come to be in this host?"_ Martouf's smile faltered. He looked to Jacob and Daniel for guidance.

"What should I tell her?" He asked them in English.

Daniel gestured helplessly. "I don't know."

Martouf turned back to Jolinar slowly. He sat down beside her on the bed, and held her hand.

"_Much has happened since the time of Rosha." _He told her gently. _"I fear I cannot explain satisfactorily."_

"_Are these people truly the Tau'ri? Of the first world?"_

"_Yes. They are a great ally of ours." _Daniel smiled a bit in pride. Jack gave him a look – he hated not understanding anything being said.

"He just called us a great ally." Daniel whispered to him.

Jack smirked. "Sweet."

"_I do not understand how I came to be here." _Jolinar said, frustrated.

"_It is a long story. As I said, I fear I am unable to explain satisfactorily." _Martouf said sadly. Jolinar smiled back at him softly.

"_No matter. As long as you are here with me, I know that I am safe." _Jolinar said warmly, and laid her hand over Martouf's, looking into his eyes with love.

Martouf looked back at her for a moment, wistfully, then turned away awkwardly and looked down to hide his pain.

"_My love?" _Jolinar asked him, and put her hand on his cheek gently.

"_I am sorry dearest Jolinar." _Martouf whispered to her, and got up, walking briskly past the group at the door. Jolinar got up and attempted to follow him, but Selmak placed a hand on her shoulder to prevent it.

"_You must leave him be, Jolinar." _He advised her.

"_And who are you to give me orders?" _Jolinar challenged him.

"_I am Selmak." _Selmak said, looking at her fondly. Jolinar gasped.

"_Selmak? Truly? You took a new host? What of Sarouche?"_

"_She died several years previously. My new host is the father of yours." _Selmak told her. Jolinar looked confused and disturbed.

"_I have tried to communicate with her. It is as though she were not there – as if I alone reside in this body." _Jolinar confessed.

Daniel stepped into the conversation. _"In a way, that is the truth. You are alone in that body."_

"_But what of the host? Surely she had a mind, a soul? How could she have left the body?"_

Daniel, Teal'c and Selmak exchanged uneasy looks. "Should we tell her?" Daniel asked the others.

"Is that wise?" Teal'c asked. "I doubt she would react well."

"I agree with Teal'c. For the moment, it is probably best she is allowed to believe she is Jolinar. To tell her otherwise would do her more harm than good." Selmak chimed in.

"Kinda like an identity crisis." Daniel said thoughtfully.

"What does _Jacob_ think about that, out of interest?" Jack asked. Selmak bowed his head.

"Much as it pains me to say it, Jack, I think Selmak's right. Believe me, I want my little girl back, but upsetting Jolinar is not the way to do it." Jacob said unhappily.

"It's not Jolinar!" Jack argued. "It's Carter! She just _thinks_ she's Jolinar, and unless we tell her otherwise, she's gonna keep believing it!"

"_What are you saying?" _Jolinar interrupted impatiently. She was as tired as Jack of not understanding the conversation.

"_We meant no disrespect." _Daniel said carefully. _"Your situation is very . . . unique, and we are trying to establish how best to help you."_

"_Is it not just simple memory loss?" _Jolinar asked.

"_No, it is much more complicated than that." _Jacob told her. _"You asked what had become of your host. That is the problem we are trying to address."_

"_Is there anything I can do to help?" _Jolinar asked.

"_Perhaps."_ Daniel said. He turned to the Jacob. "You can use your memory recall devices on her. Maybe that will help her remember."

Jacob looked at Sam sadly. "I was going to suggest the same thing, before I saw the extent of the damage to her memory. Without a better understanding of what that machine you found did to her, I wouldn't want to risk it."

"Well, hopefully we can do something about that. SG-6 are getting ready to go back to the planet where we found the device. You, or perhaps, Martouf, could go with them and study it in person." Jack said.

"I'll send Martouf." Jacob said. "I think I'd better stay here with Sam. If she has another episode and remembers who she is again, but not any of you, chances are I'm the only one she'll trust."

Jack nodded. "I'll go tell Marty."

Suddenly, Sam screamed, and clutched her head with both hands. Jacob rushed to her bedside, and held her as she fell back against the pillows, unconscious.

"I'll fetch Doctor Fraiser." Daniel said, running out of the room.

* * *

_Thank you thank you thank you for reading! Please review, it's so uplifting to read them!_

_Part 4 coming soon . . . _

_Beka_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Forget Me Not - part 4**_

_Chapter 4 is up! Enjoy! Hope it doesn't disappoint_

* * *

Ten hours later, SG-6 and Martouf had returned from P8G 934 with the device. They were studying it in the labs with Selmak, Daniel and Teal'c, while Jack stayed with Sam.

At 1700 hours, Sam stirred. She opened her eyes slowly, trying to gather her thoughts and memories. It was very strange. She remembered who she was, and where she was, but not what had happened to her, other than a vague recollection of being Jolinar again.

"Sir?" She whispered when she saw Jack beside her. Jack's eyes widened, and he exercised a lot of self-restraint not to cheer.

"Yes! Carter! You remember me?"

"Of course sir. What's going on?"

"It's damn good to have you back, Major." Jack said, smiling in relief.

Sam frowned in confusion. "What did you call me sir?"

"What? 'Carter'?"

"No, you called me 'Major'." Jack's face fell.

"Let me guess. You think you're still a Captain." He said wearily.

"Yes sir. Last I checked." She sat up and shook her head to try and clear it a bit. "What the hell is going on?"

"You had a little mishap with a device off-world. Your memory's been going hay-wire ever since. The date is now September 3rd, 2003." He told her.

Sam gaped at him. "What?"

"Hey, at least you remember me! That's better than the last two times you woke up."

"Why didn't I remember you those times?"

"First time you thought you were 25, second time you thought you were Jolinar – I'm assuming you remember who she is?" He added cautiously.

"Yeah, it was a month ago." Sam confirmed. Jack winced.

"A little longer than that. Anyway, your Dad, Martouf, and a bunch of scientists are working on the device right now to try and figure out exactly what it did to you. You'll be right as rain in no time." He told her cheerfully.

Sam eyes widened in surprise. "My Dad? What's he doing here?"

"Oh. You don't remember that he's a Tok'ra now, then?"

"What? No." Sam said, shocked. "What about the cancer?"

"The Tok'ra he's carrying cured it. Long story. Bottom line is he's here, he's fine, and he knows all about the SGC and the goa'uld."

Sam nodded, frowning, and hugged herself a little. This was so confusing. Jack looked at her worriedly.

"Hey – you okay?" He asked, remembering what she'd told him about what happened to her when she was 25.

She smiled a little, reassuringly. "Yeah, just a little confused."

Jack patted her hand. "Don't worry, they'll figure this out. You'll be fine."

He jumped up suddenly. "I should tell the Doc you've woken up. She'll be relieved to actually be able to examine you properly."

Sam frowned. "Why?"

Jack paused, wondering how best to put it. "Well, first time you woke up you wouldn't let her or any other doctor near you, and second time you only spoke Goa'uld, and had a bit of a short temper."

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh."

"I'll go get Janet." Jack said, and left.

* * *

"How's it going?" Jack asked as he entered the labs where the two Tok'ra, Daniel, Teal'c and the scientists were working.

"Not well." Daniel told him. "We can't translate the symbols on what we assume is the control panel, and Jacob and Martouf can't make head or tails of the power source."

Jacob looked up at Jack. "How is she?" He asked.

"Well, I'm pleased to report she's woken up, and although she doesn't have her full memory back, she does at least know who I am."

"Really? That's great!" Daniel said.

"The Doc's doing her thing with her now." Jack told them. "Got any theories about what's happening to her?"

"I think you'd be better asking the neurologist that at this stage." Jacob answered wearily. "We've never seen anything like this before. The technology is completely foreign to us. It could be a glorified micro-wave for all we know."

"A micro-wave that attacked Carter's brain and started playing around in her memory seemingly at random?" Jack asked.

"Apparently." Jacob confirmed. Jack sighed.

"Don't suppose there's anything I can do to help?" Jack asked.

"Stay with my daughter." Jacob instructed him. "This must be freaking her out a lot, and I trust you to look after her."

Jack was oddly touched by that. He smiled at Jacob and patted him on the shoulder as he turned to leave.

"No problem."

* * *

Jack came back into the infirmary to see Janet deep in conversation with Sam. They both looked up as he came in.

"Sir, Janet just told me what happened. I'd like to help study the device." Sam said.

"And I said I wasn't happy with it." Janet interjected. She held up her hand as Sam went to argue again. "I'm sorry Sam, but so far you've only been awake for a matter of hours before having another episode, and with your mind in such a fragile state I'm not happy for you to be pushing yourself so hard."

Sam looked pleadingly at Jack. "Ah! Don't look at me like that!" Jack said holding up his hands in defence. "It's the Doc's call."

"I might be able to help." Sam argued.

"Maybe." Jack agreed. "But I agree with the Doc. It's not worth the risk."

Sam sighed, frustrated. Janet smiled sympathetically and squeezed Sam's hand. "I'm going to go and help Dr Nelson, the neurologist. I'll see you later, okay?"

Sam smiled back at her and nodded. Her smile dropped the second Janet left the room.

Jack sat down on the bed beside her. "You know we're only looking out for your best interests, don't you?" He checked.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "I just . . ." She broke off, fidgeting.

"You just . . . what?" Jack prompted.

" . . . hate hospitals. Infirmaries, whatever." She finished.

Jack winced and looked down. "Yeah, I know."

Sam frowned, and looked at him warily. "What do you mean you know?"

Jack looked at her carefully for a moment. "How much do you remember of the other two times you woke up?"

"Not much. I have a vague recollection of being really scared, and then . . . I think . . ."

"Being Jolinar again?" Jack offered.

Sam nodded. "Yeah." She watched as he played with his hands, frowning. "The first time I woke up . . . you said before that I thought I was 25, and that I wouldn't let doctors near me. And now you're saying that you know . . . that I hate hospitals." She said cautiously.

Jack nodded, and looked up at her. "You told me what happened. About you getting kidnapped after the Gulf." He told her.

Sam closed her eyes for a moment and then stared at her hands. "I really wish I hadn't told you that." She said quietly.

"That's not surprising. Given your insane policy about pretending to be made of granite."

Sam looked up at him bemusedly. "Huh?"

"You pretend that nothing can hurt you and don't let anyone see if it does." Jack explained.

Sam winced. "If you say so."

"You do!" Jack insisted.

"Whatever. I just wish I hadn't told you."

Jack watched her, realising a few things.

"I guess that explains why you're always so unwilling to take drugs from the doctor for pain, or anything." Jack ventured.

Sam nodded. "It's stupid, I know."

"No, it's not." Jack argued. "It's a perfectly rational reaction, given what happened to you."

"How much did I tell you, exactly?" Sam asked, hoping that she stopped short of telling him about the rape.

"Everything." Jack told her quietly, looking into her eyes. Sam could see in his expression that he knew.

"Damn it." She sighed and leaned back against the pillows. Jack winced.

"I'm sorry, Carter." He said quietly.

"Don't, sir."

"Not just about that. About this, too – what's happening now. I know it can't be much fun having your memory all over the place."

Sam closed her eyes. "Nope. And the worst part is I can't control it. I might go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow not knowing who you are."

"More likely you'll fall unconscious in a kind of fit." Jack commented. Sam glared at him.

"Very comforting, sir."

"Sorry."

They sat in silence for a moment. "Want anything? Jello? Magazine? Gameboy?" Jack asked.

Sam smirked. "No, I'm fine thanks, sir."

Jack smiled and patted her leg amiably.

"Unless you feel like getting me a lap-top with the information about the device on it?" She asked hopefully.

"Nice try, Carter."

* * *

Sam stayed awake for the rest of the afternoon, talking to Jack, and then Daniel, who took over. Daniel was a lot more forthcoming about the device, but she couldn't do much without being able to study it herself.

"The worst part of this is, I've wasted an entire four hours, in which I might have been able to make considerable head-way on the device, for nothing." Sam complained to Daniel.

"Not for nothing. You might have collapsed at any moment. And you're getting really tired now despite not having moved all afternoon." Daniel pointed out. He'd been watching her with growing concern as she seemed to be growing weaker and wearier.

"I'm fine." Sam said defensively.

"No you're not." Daniel argued.

Sam closed her eyes for a moment. She was finding it harder to concentrate. A horribly familiar sensation was clouding her mind, pulling her back into blackness . . .

She snapped her eyes open determinedly. She wouldn't sleep. She didn't want to lose her memories again.

"You know, fighting it probably isn't a good idea." Daniel said worriedly. "Janet said you shouldn't strain yourself."

"We don't _know_ what is or isn't a good idea. We don't know anything." Sam protested.

"How are you feeling? Really?" Daniel asked her firmly.

Sam looked down. "I've been getting more tired in the last hour or so. And I'm getting a really bad headache form trying so hard to stay awake." She admitted quietly.

"How bad?" Daniel pushed.

"Bad. Migraine-type bad." Sam replied. In truth it was like a hammer pounding on the inside of her skull. She felt like she was on the brink of losing control, and it terrified her. She didn't want to forget again.

Daniel watched her, worried. She was trying too hard to stay awake.

"Sam . . . it might help if you just let yourself fall asleep." He tried.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Well, you can't stay conscious indefinitely, and if you keep trying you're just going to end up having a fit and falling unconscious painfully and dramatically again. It'll be easier on your body and probably on your mind too if you just let yourself sleep."

Sam sighed. She was so tired, and Daniel _was_ making sense . . .

"I just can't give in to it." She argued.

"Why not?"

"Because . . . this thing is messing with my mind and I have to fight it."

"Why?" Daniel pushed.

"Because that's what you're supposed to do!" Sam said, growing quite distressed. Daniel sat closer to the bed and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Sam? Are you alright?"

Sam shut her eyes tight, trying to block out the intense pain building in her temples. It was like a bright light boring into her skull, invading all her senses. "No!" She screamed. She didn't want this to happen again . . .

"I need some help in here!" Daniel yelled over his shoulder as Sam screamed and collapsed. Nurses came running, closely followed by Dr Fraiser and Dr Nelson. Daniel was pushed back out of the way, as the medics swarmed over Sam like flies over fresh meat.

Daniel ran his hands through his hair, agitated. They had to find out what that device did . . .

* * *

_Thanks for reading - please please please review! _

The next chapter may be a while in coming, as I've got A-Level exams this week. (AAAAAH!) Please be patient, and I'll update as soon as I can

_Beka_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Forget Me Not - part 5_**

_Hey - here's chapter 5! Sorry for the delay, but my exams are taking up quite a lot of time. That's why this is so short, but I'll try and post more soon! Keep bringing those lovely lovely reviews! You know how I love them!_

* * *

The noise was what alerted her first to the strangeness of her surroundings. The quiet beep beep beep, invading her sleep. The next was the smell. It was so . . . clean. Not what she was used to underground in the mines, not even in the sick ward.

She opened her eyes, surprised at how difficult it was. Had she been in some sort of accident? The harsh bright light invaded her – the third odd thing she'd noticed. It was _never_ this bright in the underground facility she called home. The only light would come from lamps and furnace fires, casting an orange glow on their dirt floors and stone walls.

She blinked to clear her vision. And now she panicked.

"Where am I? What is this place?" She asked urgently, trying to sit up.

A small woman in a white coat on her left stood up. "It's okay, it's okay you're in the SGC. Remember?"

She frowned in confusion. "What's the SGC?"

Janet sighed. Not again. "It's an underground military facility. What's the last thing you remember?"

She was really confused now. Of course they were underground – no one could survive on the surface. Their entire planet was going through an ice age. But what use was a military? They were too busy fighting for their survival to fight each other.

Just then a tall man with greying hair walked in, and smiled uncertainly when he saw she was awake. Her heart soared at the sight of him. If he was here, everything must be okay.

"Jonah!" She greeted him, a little laugh of relief laced into her voice.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! _

_Beka_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Forget Me Not - part 6**_

_After tumultuous reviews requesting an update, I've written more! It's a bit longer, which hopefully will make up for Chapter 5 ;-)**  
**_

* * *

Jack stopped short when Carter called him Jonah. _This can't be good . . . _

"Doc?" He looked at Janet uncertainly.

"I don't know . . ." Janet started to say, but was interrupted by Sam/Thera.

"Jonah, it's me. Where are we?" Thera asked.

Jack frowned, and slowly walked towards the bed. "Thera?" He guessed.

"Yes . . . what's going on?"

"Hoo boy . . ." Jack sighed, clapping his hands over his face.

"Sir?" Janet prompted Jack for an explanation.

"One moment." Jack said to Sam/ Thera, beckoning Janet out of Carter's hearing range.

"She thinks she's Thera." Jack whispered.

"Thera?" Janet repeated. "Who's Thera?"

"It's the name she had when we all got our memories re-written on P3 . . . something. When we were gone for a month and came back dirty, thin and pale." He added, thinking Janet was more likely to remember it for that reason. Janet's eyes widened in realisation.

"So she thinks you're . . . Jonah?

"Yeah. And I'm guessing she'll want to know how we got out of the mines. And a lot more."

"Damn." Janet swore. "She remembers you though, right? You can at least keep her calm."

"I don't know how 'calm' we can expect her to be after I tell her she's not who she thinks she is." Jack argued.

Janet thought for a moment, and then glanced back at Sam. "Let's not tell her. We didn't tell her when she thought she was Jolinar, and this is essentially the same situation. Given our past observations, I don't think agitating her unnecessarily is wise."

Jack nodded his agreement, and went back to Sam's bedside.

"Jonah?" Thera asked again, worried at the concern in his expression.

"Hey." He said carefully. "How are you feeling?"

"Um . . . tired. What happened? Where are we?"

"You had an accident." Jack told her.

"That doesn't explain where we are. That woman said we were in a military facility."

"We are. But not on Assynda."

"Not on . . . I don't understand, how could we leave the planet?"

"We were rescued by these people. This is our home now. We're safe here, and there's no ice age."

Thera tried to take in this new information. They'd always suspected there were other planets out there with life, human life, on, but they'd never before had proof.

"So everyone's here?" She asked. Jack winced.

"Not everyone. Only you, me, Carlin and Tor."

"Then where's everyone else?"

"Back on Assynda. We . . .uh . . ." Jack floundered for a plausible explanation.

"We got night-sick." He said at last. "A really bad bout. There was nothing they could do for us, so we were banished to the surface to avoid contaminating the rest of the population. You remember Tor was really sick?" He asked

Thera nodded.

"Well we caught it too. Only when we got to the surface . . . I don't remember exactly what happened, but we were found and healed by these people and taken back through a stone ring intergalactic transporter thingy, to here."

"Why didn't they just send us back to the mines?" Thera asked.

"We didn't wake up till we got here. And think about it – would the overseers really have believed that we were cured? After night-sickness that severe . . ." He trailed off, letting her imagination and intelligence tell the rest of the story.

"So it's just the four of us here." Thera concluded quietly. "How long have we been here?"

"Just over a year." Jack told her.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So what happened to me? Why don't I remember?"

"You got your head zapped by an alien brain-scrambler thing."

"Huh?"

Jack took a moment to enjoy what was probably the only time in his life that he'd know more techno-babble than Carter. "It's a machine, that messed with your memory. There's been talk of microwaves."

"And it was alien."

"Yup. Turns out there's a whole lot of alien planets out there."

"And these people can travel to them? All of them?"

"Only the ones that have the stone ring. We call it a Stargate. It shoots you through this wormhole and you emerge on another planet in like, a second."

"Cool."

Jack smirked. "Oh yeah."

* * *

Janet walked wearily into the lab where the others were working. 

"Sam's room is out of bounds again. No one but SG-1."

"Why?" Jacob asked. "Is she okay?"

"She thinks she's someone else. A little over a year ago SG-1 were captured and had their memories overwritten on an alien planet designated P3R-118. Assynda."

"Oh my God." Daniel said. "She thinks she's Thera?"

"Yes. We've decided that telling her she's not Thera would only serve to agitate her, so be very careful not to slip into calling her Sam if you visit." Daniel and Teal'c nodded.

"Can I have a word, Janet?" Daniel asked, looking worried.

"Sure." Janet answered, leading the archaeologist out into the corridor. "What's up?"

"Is Jack with her?"

"Yes, why?"

"It's just that, I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Jonah and Thera were . . . romantically involved. A little."

Janet gasped. "What?!?"

"It had only just started when we got our memories back. As far as I know they'd only kissed a couple of times, but . . . I dunno, I just don't think it'll do either of them any good for Jack to be the one with her. It could put Jack in an awkward position if he has to turn down her advances, or anything like that."

Janet nodded. "Thank you for telling me, Daniel."

"Shall I go and take over from Jack?"

"It sounds like that may be for the best. Say Jonah's needed in General Hammond's office or something." She instructed him.

Daniel nodded and gave her a quick smile, before leaving for the infirmary.

* * *

He found the two talking quite animatedly, Sam – _no, THERA_ – sitting up with her legs crossed, looking at photos with Jack. 

"Carlin!" Thera exclaimed when she saw him.

"Hey Thera. Jonah, you're needed in the lab." Daniel said. Jack's face fell.

"What could they possibly need _me_ for?"

"I don't know, why don't you go and find out?" Daniel suggested. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"What is this?"

"Janet thinks it would be best if you could assist in the lab, while I keep Thera company."

"Would you excuse us a minute, Thera? Carlin and I need to have a word in private." Jack said, still glaring suspiciously at Daniel as he stood up.

"Sure." Sam said, slightly bemused at their strange behaviour.

"What are you doing? They can't possibly need me in the lab more than you." Jack said as soon as he and Daniel were outside.

"Janet and I feel that given your . . . I mean _Jonah's_ relationship with Thera, it would be best if you stayed away from her."

"Excuse me?"

"You were together, Jack. If she thinks you still are, it could cause problems. For both of you."

"She's scared, for crying out loud! Who can keep her calm and relaxed better than me, given that she barely knew you as Carlin, and didn't know Teal'c at all?"

"She knew me. And I'm not saying you wouldn't do a better job, I just think it would be treading a very fine line."

"You don't trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, I just . . ."

"What?" Jack barked impatiently.

Daniel sighed. Clearly Jack wasn't going to back down. "Okay. You win. Just _promise_ me you won't do anything stupid. If she remembers it when she gets her memory back . . . well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you how hard it would be for her."

Jack nodded. "I can handle it."

"Janet's going to kill me." Daniel muttered as he headed back to the lab.

* * *

"What was all that about?" Thera asked when Jack came back in. 

"Nothing you need to worry about." Jack told her. "Mixed messages."

"Right." She said sceptically. Jonah clearly wasn't going to tell her more though, so she let it drop.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, Thera still flicking through the photos Jack had brought for her. Jack's mind was churning from his argument with Daniel. He knew things could get sticky if Thera made a move on him, but he couldn't leave her. She trusted him, she depended on him, more than anyone else she currently knew. He knew she was still a little freaked out at having woken up in a different world, literally, and he didn't want to abandon her while she was feeling so lost and confused.

"Jonah?"

"Yeah?" Jack pulled his attention back to her. She had a worrying little frown on her face.

"How come in all of these pictures, we're never . . ." She struggled to find the right words.

"What?" Jack prompted.

"I mean, I was expecting that we'd be closer. That we'd be holding hands or have our arms round each other in some of them. There are plenty of me hugging Carlin and even some with Tor, but never you."

Jack inwardly sighed. He'd really been hoping it wouldn't come up this quickly.

"That's because I took those ones out." He lied. "I didn't want to freak you out of you didn't remember us getting together."

Thera nodded. That made sense. It was really rather thoughtful.

"I remember our first kiss." She said after a moment. "Nothing after that though."

"We got sick pretty soon after that." Jack told her.

"But we're still together, right?" Thera checked nervously.

_There it is_, thought Jack miserably, _there's the stinger. Do I say no and break her heart, or say yes and risk making things awkward later?_ He looked at the woman in front of him, looking increasingly stricken as his silence wore on. He couldn't do that to Thera. He just couldn't. However much Sam might hate him for it later.

"Of course we are." He said with a soft smile. He watched as Thera's worried expression turned slowly to a smile of real happiness. He never saw Sam look at him like that.

"Good." She whispered. Then it happened. She started leaning towards him. Jack couldn't move for panic. _She's going to kiss me,_ he thought. _I can't let her kiss me! Oh please let me kiss her . . . _He closed his eyes, trying to calm the war going on in his head, between his common sense and love for her – Carter, Thera, _Sam._

Before he could let his common sense or conscience take over, he closed the distance between them. His lips brushed Sam's softly, hesitantly, not sure what to expect. Her hand crept up his arm, to his shoulders and chest as the kiss deepened a little, still gentle but not so hesitant. If he died right now, he'd die a happy man.

Eventually she pulled back, smiling oh-so happily at him. "I love you, Jonah." She said warmly and sincerely.

Jack couldn't take it anymore. He looked away as he angrily fought the sting of tears. What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? Carter was going to be so, so pissed at him.

Thera watched him worriedly. "What is it?"

Jonah sighed. "Carlin said I'm needed in the labs. I've got to go help find a way to fix your memory." He explained, unable to look her in the eye.

"I thought you said it was a misunderstanding." Thera said suspiciously.

"I lied. I wanted to be the one here with you." He said, this time honestly.

"Okay." Thera accepted it. She had a feeling Jonah was hiding something, but for now she'd let it go. "Have fun."

Jack gave her a quick smile, and couldn't resist squeezing her hand, as he left.

* * *

_The shipper in me just couldn't bear to stay hidden any longer! Sorry! Hope you liked it - please please please keep on reviewing! The response I've had so far has been absolutely fantastic!  
_

_Beka_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Forget Me Not - part 7_**

_Okay, so it's short again, but I'll post 2 together to make up for it! _

* * *

Daniel closed his eyes and dropped his head to his chest when he saw Jack enter the lab sheepishly. He _knew_ he shouldn't have left him with Sam.

"What did you do?" Daniel hissed, tugging Jack back outside.

"Okay, so maybe you were right. I'm just coming here to admit it, and take you up on your offer."

"What offer?"

"To sit with her. Instead of me."

"Okay Jack, I'll ask again. _What_ did you do?"

"Nothing."

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Really." Jack couldn't look him in the eye.

Daniel sighed. "Fine. But there'll be hell to pay when she remembers everything."

"She will remember everything, won't she?" Jack asked quietly.

Daniel was shocked at the fear in Jack's voice. "Of course she will. We'll figure this out."

Jack nodded and clapped Daniel on the shoulder as he walked past him into the lab. "Okay."

* * *

Daniel didn't ask Sam what had happened with Jack. He didn't want her getting suspicious that they weren't telling her everything, and asking awkward questions. That and he figured if no one _actually _told him, he had plausible deniability. 

It was late in the afternoon when she started getting tired and jumpy again. Daniel recognised the signs easily – and once again failed to convince her to just let it happen. Then he slipped. She was shouting, yelling that she couldn't just let it take her, she had to fight, didn't he understand that she had to fight –

"Damn it, Sam, that won't work! I'm telling you it won't work!" He yelled back. Then he stopped. She frowned at him, confusion shining through the pain in her temples.

"What did you call me?" She said suspiciously.

Daniel froze. _Crap._

"I . . . uh . . ."

"Why did you call me Sam? It's me, Thera! I'm not Sam, I'm me, I'm not Sam . . ." She trailed off, rocking back and forth, massaging her head as the pain grew to a blinding pitch.

"Thera, Thera it's okay." Daniel tried to soothe her. "Just go to sleep."

"No." She couldn't take it anymore. "No!"

She screamed and went into a fit. The nurses were back again. Daniel was shunted back to the wall, and he yelled in frustration, kicking the wall behind him angrily.

There had to be a way to stop it.

* * *

_Please please please review - I just had a really bad exam and I need to know someone likes my work! And no, I'm not above playing the pity card, but did it work? Chapter 8 is just minutes away if you haven't got it already. Honest! _

_Beka_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Forget Me Not - part 8**_

_And here it is! Hope you like ;-)_

* * *

Sam blinked awake, squinting at the bright lights over her head. She struggled into a sitting position, frowning as she felt the tug of a mass of tubes and wires attached to her arms and torso. A man, maybe in his mid-forties, sat to her left, dozing in his chair. She pulled a drip from her fore-arm, freeing it, so that she could nudge the man awake. 

"Excuse me?" She said, rousing him. He blinked a few times, then was wide awake.

"Carter? You're awake." He observed.

"Yes. Who are you? Where am I?" She asked, very confused and scared.

Jack groaned and rubbed his face sleepily. _Not again . . ._

"You don't remember me?" He checked.

"No." Sam confirmed. "Is this a hospital?"

"Kinda." Jack answered. "What's the last thing you remember?" He asked.

Sam closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, thinking. She was baking cookies. Dad came home . . . he was crying . . .

"Oh God . . ." Sam said, her voice wavering and her eyes filling with tears. Jack looked concerned.

"Sam?" He asked cautiously, as his 2IC started very uncharacteristically crying right in front of him. She didn't answer, but buried her face in her arms, shoulders shaking slightly.

Jack rubbed her back comfortingly, silently pleading her to stop crying. She lifted her head suddenly.

"Who are you? Where's Dad?" She asked.

"My name's Colonel Jack O'Neill. Your Dad's here."

"Are you Air Force?" She asked him, assuming this was her Dad's base.

"Yeah." Jack answered. "Can you tell me what year it is? What month?" He asked.

Sam's eyes widened. "Why?"

Jack paused, trying to figure out how to phrase it. "You've been having some trouble with your memory. I need to know how much you remember."

"It's December, 1984." Sam told him. Jack did some quick maths and gasped.

"'84?" He checked. Sam nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fifteen."

* * *

Jack left Sam with Janet and sprinted to the labs. He emerged panting a little, attracting a lot of attention as he burst into the room. 

"Jacob, I need you." He announced. Jacob raised his eyebrows.

"Oh? What's happened?"

"Carter thinks she's fifteen." Jack told him. "And I'm fairly sure her most recent memory is her Mom dying."

"Oh God." Jacob muttered, sighing. "How is she?"

"Well, she burst into tears when I asked what the last thing she remembered was. I left her with the Doc. She's asking for you."

"I'll go now. Thanks Jack." Jacob said, and left the room.

Jack looked at Daniel, who was frowning thoughtfully. "Daniel?" He prompted. "What are you thinking?"

Daniel tapped his pen on the desk thoughtfully. "The first time she woke up, she thought she'd only just been rescued from her kidnappers when she was 25. Second time she thought she was Jolinar. Third time she thought she'd only just got over being possessed by Jolinar. Fourth time she thinks she's Thera. Fifth time . . . she thinks her Mom's only just died . . ." Daniel trailed off.

"I see where you're going with this, Dr Jackson." Martouf chipped in. "Each time she emerges from a period in her life when she is experiencing great trauma."

"So? And? But? Therefore?" Jack prompted.

"So . . . maybe that relates to what this machine does." Daniel said, making eye-contact with him now. "Maybe it's focussing on the most difficult memories she has, and bringing them to the surface."

"Why would anyone design a machine that does that?" Teal'c asked.

"It is possible that it was not designed to do this. That this is some form of malfunction." Martouf speculated.

"And why her hardest memories?" Jack asked.

"Maybe because they're the strongest?" Daniel offered.

"Often the most painful events of our lives are the most vivid in our memory." Martouf explained.

"But what about when she thought she was Thera? There wasn't any great trauma there." Jack protested.

"Wasn't there? Jack, what did she lose when she got back her memory?" Daniel asked pointedly.

Jack gulped. "I wouldn't call that a trauma, exactly."

"Then clearly you're under-estimating how she feels about . . . it." Daniel finished, glancing nervously at Teal'c and Martouf.

There was a tense silence.

"There does seem to be a clear link between these events now, at the very least." Martouf said eventually.

"So what does all this mean?" Jack asked.

"Well . . . we have a starting point." Daniel said, silently conferring with Martouf. "If we can at least speculate about what the machine was designed to do . . . maybe we can figure out how it works. And how to help Sam."

Jack smiled grimly. "I'll leave you boys to it, then."

* * *

Jacob sat with his arm round his daughter, who was still crying a little, leaning against him with her eyes closed. Jack stopped in the doorway, not sure whether or not to go in. Jacob looked up at him and mouthed 'I got it' to him. Jack got the message and backed out, heading instead for Fraiser's office. 

"Doc?" He said as he popped his head round the door. "Anything new?"

Janet sighed wearily and dropped the file she was holding down on the table. "No. I don't know what to say, Colonel. We just don't understand it."

"Well, Daniel and Martouf have a theory." Jack told her.

Fraiser immediately perked up, and Dr Nelson looked up from his temporary desk to join the conversation.

"Oh?"

"They reckon that the device – whatever it is – is somehow targeting her most vivid, and therefore most painful memories, and bringing them to the surface. Like she's reliving the most difficult times of her life." Jack explained.

"That seems to fit. Each time she's in a period of recovering from an extreme emotional trauma – her kidnapping, being possessed by Jolinar, her mother's death . . ." Janet said.

"But what about the time when she thought she _was_ Jolinar?" Jack asked, carefully not mentioning the other time Sam thought she was someone else.

"Well, if the machine really is making her mind recall her most vivid memories, then it makes sense that Jolinar's memories be included in that category." Dr Nelson said thoughtfully.

"But Carter's never been able to remember it all. Only vague bits of it." Jack countered.

"Yes, but in her subconscious, which is what is being targeted, the memories are quite powerful. An entire mind was blended with hers, as is the nature of the symbiotic relationship. This means that the area of her memory where Jolinar's memories reside, while out of reach to her conscious memory, is quite strong in its own right. It is almost as if it were a separate personality buried in her mind – one we saw demonstrated earlier." Nelson explained.

"I guess that explains Thera as well. The question is, how do we stop it?" Janet said, frowning.

Their discussions were interrupted by a piercing scream, followed by Jacob's voice bellowing for help.

The three rushed into the infirmary, where Sam was lying limp in her father's arms.

"Doctor?" Jacob asked worriedly as he moved away to allow her room.

"She's having another episode." Dr Nelson said, reattaching the wires to Sam's forehead. "I suggest you all go and get some rest, it will be a while before she wakes up."

* * *

_And the saga continues . . . Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa._

_Too crazy? Never.  
_

_Beka_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Forget Me Not - part 9_**

_Chapter 9 is up! Enjoy! Be merry! (My exams are almost over so I'm a bit hyper. Excuse the craziness.) ;-)_

* * *

General Hammond entered the briefing room to find the three male members of SG-1, the two doctors, and the two Tok'ra all sitting at the table. He took his seat at the head of it, expectantly. 

"What have you found?" He asked.

"We know what's happening to Sam." Daniel started.

"Go on."

"The machine seems to be designed as a memory recall device, effectively a cure for amnesia." Martouf explained.

"However, as Sam doesn't have amnesia, it's simply targeting the most vivid of her memories, and the ones she has tried hardest to bury, and bringing them to the surface." Jacob continued.

"How can we stop it?" Hammond asked.

"We're not sure." Janet answered. "We think there's a chance that eventually, the processes the machine enacted in her synaptic pathways will come to a natural end. But we can't be sure of that."

"So what do we do?"

"I have another theory." Martouf said. Hammond nodded for him to continue.

"I have been studying the device that caused this, and specifically the programming of the central command nodule. I have found that the actual process enacted by the device, would usually come to an end when the subject had re-lived their entire memory. However, in the case of Samantha, the process seems to be a lot more specific, and random. Effectively, her mind is resetting itself after each episode. This means that she will continue in a loop similar to this, indefinitely."

"So how do we get her out of it?" Jack asked.

"We use the next window we have with her, to try and use the device as it was designed to work."

"You mean zap her with it again?" Jack checked.

Martouf nodded. "Yes."

"How do we know it won't just do the same thing again? Or worse, do permanent damage?" Dr Nelson asked.

"When it was activated before, it was by accident, and certainly not in the manner it was designed to be used. Now that we know what it does, I believe we can successfully activate it, and start the process that should help Samantha remember everything." Martouf explained.

George Hammond nodded thoughtfully. Sam's life was essentially lying in his hands now.

"Jacob, what do you think about all this?" He asked Sam's father.

"In theory, I agree with Martouf. But as a father, I'm not wild about using Sam as a guinea-pig in an experiment that could go south so easily." Jacob said.

"Here here." Jack muttered.

"Dr Nelson?" Hammond prompted.

"I'm no expert on alien machinery. I agree with Mr Martouf's assessment of Major Carter's condition though."

"Dr Fraiser?"

"I know Sam wouldn't want to be stuck like this indefinitely. I say, if there's a chance this could work, we try it."

"Anyone else?" Hammond asked, looking at SG-1. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c exchanged weighted looks. Jack could see that his teammates both thought they should try it, and he was inclined to agree, much as he hated to put Sam's mind in the hands of the Tok'ra.

"I guess we say we do it." Jack said reluctantly. Hammond nodded. He looked again to Jacob, who nodded.

"Alright. Let me know when you're ready."

* * *

Sam woke up to find Jack sitting next to her, half-asleep. 

"Sir?" She whispered, touching his arm.

Jack jerked awake, and blinked at her. "Carter? Hey. Good to see you awake."

Sam closed her eyes with a frown. "What happened?

"Long story. What's the last thing you remember?" Jack asked.

"Um . . ." she thought hard about it, gasping a little as she remembered. "Daniel . . ."

Jack frowned, and put his hand on her arm supportively. "Carter?"

"He's dead . . . the flames . . ." She broke off, tears filling her eyes.

"Flames? Ah! No, Carter, he's not dead. He's fine. It was a fake memory the fish monster implanted to make us leave without him." He reassured her.

"What?"

"He's not dead. And all that happened a long time ago. You've lost part of your memory." Jack said, more calmly.

"I don't understand. I saw him die, we all did. I can still here him screaming . . ." she put a shaking hand up to cover her mouth, closing her eyes.

"It's okay." Jack said, rubbing her arm. "I know it's confusing, but Daniel's fine. He's with the others, working on a way to get your memory back."

"He's alive?" Sam checked.

"He's alive. In fact, I'll go get him. The others need to know you're awake anyway." Jack gave her arm a last squeeze, before leaving.

Five minutes later, Jack came back, followed by Daniel, Teal'c, Jacob, Martouf, Janet and Dr Nelson.

"Daniel!" Sam exclaimed, and he went to give her a hug. "Dad! What are you doing here?" She said, spying him over Daniel's shoulder.

"Long story." Jack said again, shrugging apologetically. Sam looked curiously at Dr Nelson and Martouf, who she didn't recognise, and the strange machine the two had wheeled into the infirmary.

"What's that?" She asked.

"That's the machine which, hopefully, will get you back your memory." Daniel explained, one arm still round her shoulders. Dr Nelson and Janet started attaching the wires to Sam's forehead again.

"Don't worry, everything's going to be fine." Janet said to Sam quietly, with a smile. Sam smiled back nervously.

Jacob moved the device to Sam's bedside, and indicated the panels on the front. "Place your hands here." He instructed her. She did as she was told.

Martouf touched several buttons on the machine, and it whirred to life suddenly, the humming growing louder and louder, until it reverberated round the room and made the whole infirmary shake. Sam looked at Jack, scared. He didn't look too happy himself.

Suddenly an energy burst shot from the machine to Sam's head, making a glowing bridge between them. She was seized by it, her back arching and her head thrown back to the ceiling by the force. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, and as it disconnected she collapsed, unconscious. Janet and Dr Nelson rushed to her side.

"She's unconscious, but I'm getting a reading here." Nelson said, looking at his computer monitor.

"What does that mean?" Daniel asked.

"It means she's not in a coma." Janet said.

"But . . ." Jack said.

"But nothing. We just have to wait until she wakes up." Dr Nelson said matter-of-factly.

* * *

_Da, dun-dun dun . . . . DAAAAAA!_

_So, what did you think? Did it work?_ _Is Sam herself again? Find out very, very soon . . . _

_Beka_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Forget Me Not - part 10_**

_It's nearly over! This chapter sees the story up on the angst, and nearing an end . . .  
_

* * *

Over the following hours, SG-1, Martouf and Jacob took turns sitting with Sam, talking to her, making sure she wouldn't be alone should she wake up. Occasionally she would stir, mumbling something, or open her eyes for a moment in her sleep. Her neural activity remained constant, and her eyes were constantly moving, as though she was stuck in a marathon length dream. 

It was Martouf's watch when she finally awoke, 34 hours after the procedure. She groaned, rolling from her side onto her back, one hand coming up to her forehead. Martouf immediately stood up, calling her name. She opened her eyes groggily, blearily focussing on his worried face.

"Martouf?" She asked, tears filling her eyes.

"Yes, Samantha, I am here." Martouf answered her, smiling in relief. "What do you remember?"

"Everything." She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. "I remember everything."

Martouf's smile faltered. Something wasn't right, Samantha was too upset.

"What is wrong?" He asked her gently.

Sam didn't answer. She turned her head away from Martouf, and closed her eyes as a tear ran down her cheek. Martouf face creased with worry.

"Samantha . . ." he tried. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I need to see Colonel O'Neill." She said. Martouf looked at her for a moment, trying to see what she was thinking, then nodded and left.

* * *

"She has awakened." Martouf announced to the four people sat at the commissary table. Jack, Teal'c, Daniel and Jacob all rose and followed Martouf back to the infirmary. 

"How is she?" Jacob asked.

"She remembers me, but she is very upset. About what, I do not know."

"Nothing bad has happened to her recently has it?" Jacob asked SG-1.

"No, I don't . . . think so." Daniel said, looking at the others.

"She asked to see Colonel O'Neill." Martouf told them as they reached the door of her room. Something twisted in Jack's gut. _This couldn't be about the kiss, could it?_

"Guess I'll go in then." He said, leaving the others at the door.

He opened the door, and walked in. Sam sat up immediately upon seeing him. "Sir."

Jack saw the tear-tracks on her face, and frowned in concern. "Carter, you okay?"

Sam shook her head, and Jack went to sit on the edge of her bed, facing her. "What is it?"

"It worked. The device worked." Sam said, her voice still quavering as she tried to control her emotions.

"Then what's the problem?" Jack asked, confused.

"I remember _everything_." Sam said, her eyes widening meaningfully.

"I don't understand." Jack said, even more confused. "Wasn't that the point?"

"No, I mean I don't just remember my life. I remember all of Jolinar's memories now too." Sam explained, another stray tear rolling down her face.

Jack's eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "Oh . . ."

Sam looked down at her hands, her shoulders shuddering as she breathed in. Jack winced at seeing her so upset. They should have realised this would happen.

"Come here." He said quietly, reaching towards her. She leant forwards into his embrace, and let herself cry a little in his arms, while he rubbed her back soothingly.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, he came out to find Daniel and Teal'c, Martouf, Jacob, Janet and Hammond all standing in the hall. 

"We screwed up. Big time." He said, scowling.

"How is she?" Janet asked.

"She remembers _everything_." Jack said. Martouf frowned.

"That is what she said to me, but I did not understand."

"I mean she remembers every memory that was in her . . . memory. Including the ones she couldn't remember before." Jack said.

Jacob gasped as he realised what Jack meant. "You mean she has all of Jolinar's memories back as well?"

Jack nodded grimly. "I do."

"Oh my God." Daniel muttered, closing his eyes.

"How bad is it?" George asked, uncertain what Jolinar's memories contained.

All eyes turned to Martouf, who looked shocked.

"Jolinar experienced some great atrocities in her life. There are a number I can think of which Samantha may find difficult to deal with."

"Such as?" Jack asked, irritated.

"Torture, seeing loved ones die, the deaths of her previous hosts . . ." Martouf trailed off, looking worriedly at Jacob, who shared his look.

"I'm going in there." Jacob said, pushing past them all into his daughter's room.

"Sam?" Jacob said tentatively as he entered Sam's room. She was sitting on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking ever so slightly with her eyes closed.

"Dad." Sam whispered back. She felt the bed sag as her father sat down in front of her. A hand rubbed her arm soothingly.

"How are you doing, kid?"

Sam sighed, opening her eyes to look at him. He looked worried. Of course he looked worried, she was acting like a head case.

"I've been better."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"It want it to go away." She hated herself for sounding so pathetic.

"Sam, do you remember absolutely _everything_ Jolinar did, or just the strongest parts?" Jacob asked, trying to do a little recon.

"I don't know. It's all so . . . muddled. How do you tell?"

"Why don't you tell me what you do remember?" He prompted gently.

"There's so much." Sam whispered back.

"Just the bits you're struggling with then." Jacob suggested sensibly. But Sam didn't want to be sensible. She didn't want to compartmentalise her memories and talk about them in that cold, calculating way psychiatrists did, she didn't want to look at each horrifying event separately and come up with reasons why it didn't matter, why it was all okay really. She just wanted to come apart. To scream and cry and beat up the furniture. But she couldn't do that. Carters didn't do that.

"Isn't there some way to make me forget?" Sam pleaded. "I'd take amnesia over this."

Jacob flinched inwardly at her admission. "You don't mean that."

"Maybe not, but if there's a way to bury this, I want it." She said determinedly.

Jake sighed. "I'm not sure it works like that. The Tok'ra memory recall device uncovers buried memories, it doesn't bury them to begin with."

"We can't jam it into reverse gear then?"

"Sam." Jacob admonished quietly. "Come on, you can deal with this. Jolinar managed, didn't she?"

Sam's eyes lit up in anger. "I'm not her! I'm not a Tok'ra! I don't have some 500 year old symbiote to help me through this, just me, on my own. I remember every time she hurt, every time she was raped and beaten, every time she was betrayed by people she loved! And you know the worst part? It was all for nothing! She got through it because she believed that in the end she'd see the Goa'uld fall, and I have to deal with it knowing she was wrong!"

"She wasn't wrong, Sam. They will fall. Soon."

"You don't know that!" Sam cried, exasperated. "You're not even doing anything!"

"We are, and you know it!" Jacob felt his own anger flash, intensified by Selmak. "You can't remember Jolinar and claim we do nothing."

"Not enough." She got up and paced the room restlessly. She'd rarely felt so insecure, so close to the edge, and this little chat with her father was doing nothing to ground her. Jacob watched anxiously.

"Sam, what's wrong? Sit down, we can talk about this."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I know, you want it all to magically disappear." Jacob sighed.

"I want to be alone." Sam said firmly, looking him straight in the eye.

"Sam –"

"Just leave!" She yelled, feeling frighteningly close to losing it completely.

Jacob reluctantly got up, and left her.

Sam returned to pacing, getting more and more worked up. She eyed the alien device, suddenly walking over to it and turning it on its trolley's wheels to face her. She ran her hands over the controls wildly, searching through muscle memory for the buttons she'd pressed back on the cliff-face.

_Found it._

"Carter!" Jack's cry from the door startled her. Her finger slipped over the button.

Time seemed to slow down as Jack ran to her, pulling her away from the device as the light began to reach out and engulf her. Her legs gave out and they both crashed to the floor, painfully.

Jack held her down on the floor, waiting while the light dissipated. Once it was gone, he turned her over in his arms, to look at her face. She was unconscious.

"Carter! Carter, damn it, wake up!" He smoothed her hair away from her face, getting a flash of dejavu at the memory of how he'd done this after the Ashrak almost killed her.

She stirred slightly, and blinked as her eyes opened.

"Yes! That's it Carter, wake up." Jack urged her on softly.

"Sir?" She whispered.

"Thank God! You remember me?" He checked.

"Yeah, what happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Jack asked carefully.

Sam frowned, and struggled to sit up from her awkward position lying across Jack's lap. "I'm not sure. It's a bit foggy. I remember . . ." She paused and looked around, spying the device. "Oh God." She whispered, her voice catching.

"It's alright. It's over now." Jack whispered soothingly, rubbing her back.

"It's not over. It'll never be over. It's coming back." Sam said, staring at the thing, breathing more heavily as she became more and more distressed.

"What is?"

"All of it. It won't stop happening. I didn't know what I was doing, I just wanted to forget."

"What are you talking about?"

"When you came in, I was trying to turn it on like I did before, I was trying to forget Jolinar's memories, but I wasn't thinking straight, I didn't think what it would mean . . ."

"Carter! It's okay, just listen to me." He got her to stop rambling, and look at him. "You may have tried to turn it on, but I pulled you away. And now you remember everything except Jolinar's memories, right?" She thought for a moment, then nodded, confused.

"Well that's alright then, isn't it?" He concluded.

"But . . . but how do you know it won't start again?" She asked.

"I don't." Jack confessed. "You did collapse after you turned it on, even though it didn't get the chance to get at you like it did before."

"So . . . ?"

"Hey, you remember everything. This is the first time that's happened without you remembering _literally_ everything. I'm thinking that you may just have fixed yourself, even if it was accidentally."

"It just seems a bit of a long shot."

"Let's find out. I'll go get the Doc to check you over." Sam nodded numbly, as he helped her get up and onto the bed.

* * *

_Could it really all be over? When will 'the kiss' be addressed? How will Sam deal with the aftermath?  
_

_Hope you like it - please review, and sorry if this seems like too much of a quick fix for the problem! Any suggestions welcome . . ._

_Beka  
_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Forget Me Not - part 11**_

_So, is Sam back? Read on to find out . . . Sorry, it's short, but once again, I'll post the next chapter straight after it._

* * *

Two hours later, Janet announced that Sam seemed to be back with them. Jacob and Martouf had looked at the controls she'd activated on the device, and concluded that her exposure seemed to have been just long enough to block out her least readily available memories: Jolinar's. Jack actually cheered when he heard that.

"I want you to stay here for at least 24 hours, in case you relapse. After that, you're taking it easy for a minimum of two weeks." Janet ordered the major. Everyone was shocked when Sam didn't argue.

"Sam?" Janet prodded gently.

"I know. Rest. Two weeks. Got it."

"Good." She left for her office with General Hammond, leaving just Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Jacob and Martouf gathered round the hospital bed.

"So, how are you feeling?" Daniel asked her.

"Tired." Sam said, leaning back into the pillows. "Bit of a headache."

"We should let you sleep." Jacob said, and leant forward to kiss her on the forehead. "We won't go home till we're sure you're okay." He promised.

Sam smiled, and watched as all but Jack trailed out. She turned to look at him.

"What?"

"You really okay?"

"I know who I am and what day it is."

"That's not what I meant."

Sam sighed. "I know."

Jack squeezed her hand briefly. "I'll let you sleep."

"'kay." Sam yawned.

* * *

_The next and possibly final chapter is up. Please review!  
_

_Beka_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Forget Me Not - part 12**_

_And this is it! Probably. I hope you've enjoyed the story - please please _please _tell me what you think of it.  
_

* * *

  
Over a week later, Sam was sitting on Jack's roof at night, staring at the stars with a beer in hand. Daniel and Teal'c were down in the living room watching Oprah, and Jack was watching his 2IC worriedly.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"You keep spacing out."

Sam shook herself. "Sorry."

"Penny for 'em?" Jack asked softly. Sam closed her eyes and leant back in the deck chair.

"It's just a little weird. You know those times I woke up and thought all those bad times had only just happened? Well the feeling's still there, even though I _know_ it was all years ago. I keep catching myself desperately missing mom, or worrying that someone's about to appear out of nowhere and kidnap me." She explained.

Jack frowned sympathetically. "Anything I can do?"

Sam smiled at him. "You're doing it."

Silence reigned again as Sam wrapped her coat closer around, breathing in the midnight air, refreshing cool and _now_.

"Carter, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer." Jack asked uneasily.

"Sure." Sam said frowning.

"Who were those people who kidnapped you?"

Sam looked stunned for a moment, then turned her gaze to the trees in Jack's garden.

"Doctors from an illegal research cell group. They specialised in research that involved testing new drugs on human subjects. Mostly unwilling ones."

Jack nodded slowly. "Why you?"

"I don't know."

Jack bowed his head, wincing at the strained tone to her voice. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Sam sagged. "It's just a little too . . . _fresh_, just now."

"Okay."

After a moments pause, Sam turned back to look at him, her features almost unreadable in the dark.

"What would you say, if I told you I was having nightmares?"

"Nightmares? About the doctors?"

"Yeah."

"Every night?"

"Mostly."

Jack regarded her carefully. "I'd say you're definitely human."

Sam chuckled. "That's a relief." She said sarcastically.

"Carter . . . I am very, very reluctant to suggest this, but might it help to talk to someone? Like Mackenzie, for example?"

Sam narrowed her eyes. "A shrink?"

"A councillor. You must have talked to someone first time round."

"There hasn't been a second time." Sam argued.

"Sam."

"Yes, the air force made me see a psychiatrist. I wasn't very co-operative."

"I can imagine." Jack muttered, earning a glare from Sam. "At least consider it. You're probably gonna need a psych evaluation before returning to active duty anyway."

Sam said nothing.

"How come you never told us?" Jack asked after a moment.

"You have to ask?" Sam sighed. "I didn't want you feeling that I needed to be protected. I thought, if I told you, that whenever we got into trouble on a mission and I got separated from you, you'd immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion, because you knew that it had happened before."

"How d'you know that I didn't jump to the worst possible conclusion anyway?"

Sam gave him a small smile. "If you had, I'd have seen it in your eyes."

Jack smiled back. "Yeah, I guess. I did worry though."

"But you were confident I could take care of myself."

"Yes. And I still am."

"But now you'll worry more. You'll always wonder." Sam argued.

Jack sighed. "Sam. I promise you, I will never doubt your abilities as a soldier. And if you ever think I'm getting over-protective, you have my permission to kick me. South of the groin." He added, grinning.

"Yes sir." Sam gave him a mock salute, smiling despite herself.

Jack sighed. _'Sir'. That reminded him of something . . . _

"Carter –" he started reluctantly.

"Sir?" She looked at him when he didn't continue immediately.

"How much do you remember from your . . . episodes?"

Sam sighed and closed her eyes. She was wondering when he was going to bring this up. It had seemed almost too good to be true that he might just let it go.

"I have a pretty clear memory of all of it. The only one that's a bit fuzzy is when I thought I was Jolinar."

"So . . ."

"So, yes, I remember what happened when I thought I was Thera."

_Of course you do._ Jack thought miserably. It was too much to ask that that particular slip up on his part couldn't just be forgotten.

"So, I guess we should probably talk about it." He said, gloomily.

Sam turned to face him. "Look, sir, I understand why you did it. The circumstances were . . . _difficult_, and however awkward it may seem now, it did make me – I mean Thera – feel better at the time. If you want, we can just put it behind us. Forget it ever happened."

Jack's stomach clenched uncomfortably. "Is that what you want?"

"I . . ." Honestly, Sam didn't know what she wanted. She knew what they needed though, if they were going to move past this as CO and 2IC.

"I think the job is too important right now. We can't let this get in the way of SG-1."

Jack nodded. He knew she was right, however much he might hate it. SG-1 was important. Who were they to jeopardise it?

"So we leave it in the room." He concluded.

Sam put on a grim smile. "Room getting a little full for you, Colonel?"

"It's fine. For now." He said, hoping she'd catch his meaning. The small smile she gave him suggested that she did. And it did wonders for his clenched up stomach.

They stood in silence for a moment. Jack watched as Sam closed her eyes, and took a deep breath of the cool night air. She really was beautiful.

"You going to be okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

She grinned at him, a little unconvincingly, but with enough determination to stop a hoard of angry alien bad guys. "Of course I am."

Jack nodded, and looked back out into the night, satisfied she was going to be alright again. Maybe not right now, but soon. And at the very least – Major Sam Carter was back.

* * *

_Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story. I am so so grateful for all the encouragement and support! Fanfic reviewers are definitely my favourite people! _

_So, is this the end? It feels like a good place to stop, to avoid jeopardising the flow of the TV series. I wanted them to come back to a point where it could feasibly have happened in the 'Stargate Universe'(!) without it changing the status quo too dramatically. Anyway, please please please tell me your thoughts, I'm not completely against a sequel . . ._

_Beka ;-)_


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